I ponder many things as I can not sleep. I ponder the ways of the Lord and about ministry that becomes a thing to be seen, rather then a ministry where Jesus is seen. For me I rather be hidden in Him where no one sees me but the one who dwells in me. I had a friend go to the store the other day and a lady who worked their asked her," are you one who serves Jesus? My friend smiled because she knew this lady saw Jesus and not her. To me ministry means nothing, but relationship means everything once we lose sight of that to conform to what everyone else wants us to be, then we do not know our Beloved Jesus at all.It is through relationship ministry just happens not so we can be seen but He can be seen through us.

I have come to realize that telling someone they should be out there on the street doing street ministry instead of doing this and that is total manipulation and condemnation I am putting on my sister and brothers in Christ, instead I should be pointing them to know Jesus more through relationship with the Father,son and Holy spirit. The Lord said we are to to be like Him yes, but in order to smell like Him, look like Him, and walk like Him ,and talk like Him we are to spend time with him. Through spending time with him we naturally supernaturally walk in the ministry He has placed on us not what others have placed in us.

It is true Jesus never spent time in the building, He spent time in the streets where people where crushed and broken and had great needs. Yes Jesus spent time with His disciples as a family and spent time with them in the real world where they learned to walk as a family unit through relationship.

These are just things I am pondering. What is it like to walk in the fullness of deep intimacy with Jesus even more. I have no personal interest in ministry now I have laid it all down and am focusing on just being with Him in my new place of residence. Many have asked me about what church am I going to well I have no plans to find one right away that may freak many of you out and that is okay because I still walk hand in hand with the Lord and I long for more of Him. I am just going to fallow His lead and allow Him to rule and rain even more in my life.

There are many ways we can be locked in a system or structure my desire is to only be locked into a deeper place of intimacy with the trinity.

One more thing I have pondered since being home about ministry.I have seen where the passion to fallow Jesus in the ministry becomes a driven source where Jesus is the title of the ministry not the source of the ministry. Once you step out of that place of intimacy people become numbers and people are tools for your agenda rather then apart of the family of the body of Christ that moves together as one. This is a sad thing.

Yes God is faithful and always will be as we learn in this journey it is all about relationship not the agenda.

Blessings
Jeanie